Introduction to FEAR

Have you ever heard someone said this: "Oh, no! I'm not going to do that! I'm not interested on it." 

It's already very obvious that the feeling of being uncomfortable is just the reason for not pursuing or doing something.

As I mention on my previous posts, the fundamental sensations we come across when hitting the walls of the comfort zone include fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, and anger. Feeling any of the item, we say we're uncomfortable, right? When we try to tilt the barriers of our comfort zone, we tend to be discouraged - and discouragement is the primary barrier why we are not living our dreams.

Let's take a closer look first at FEAR.

Have you ever feared on something or someone. Like your gonna fail on your subject? or board exam? or you didn't solved the problem your boss is asking from you? or whatever you fear the most. It is probably the most common limiting emotion, PERIOD.

We fear to do new things and we also fear in addition to other negative emotions. For instance, we feel heartbroken, and we're afraid to feel heartbroken. We feel guilt, and we're also afraid to feel the same guilt. Even when we fear something, we're often afraid to feel the fear. This is commonly known as "worrying about your worries" or kung binisaya pa, "Gaduda sa imong duda"


Physically, we feel fear in the stomach area. In its extreme forms, it is accompanied with adrenaline rush, quickening of the pulse, sharpening of the sense, and widening of the eyes.

When I had a training back when I was still in networking, the trainer once described FEAR in an acronym: False Expectation Appearing Real. In many instances, what we imagine is what we fear. Our mind is only imagining things that has not happened yet arising from the anticipation of disgust, accident, disaster, or any forms of evil.


For example, why do some fear snakes? And some do not?


For those who fear snakes, they are afraid because they might be bitten and poisoned. For those who aren't,  they know that the snake is poisonous, but they are not thinking that it will bite them. So what's the assumption there? The former expects that the snake will bite him.


Hardly ever do we do the things we fear, so we never know if our expectation of an accident was accurate. The truth of the matter is, when we don't execute the thing we are afraid of, we get a sigh as if it in fact would have taken place. "That was really close!" we say, even though we never got close to anything but only a negative thought.

Acording to John Roger, this is what will happen to you if you will not face your fear:

Fear raises lack of experience, lack of experience breeds ignorance, ignorance creates more fear. It is a vicious cycle you will never conquer unless you face your fears.

For example, your dream is to become a pilot but you fear to fly a plane. This creates the thought of "not flying a plane at all" but still you want to be a pilot. You had lack of experience because you didn't try flying a plane. In turn, you create ignorance and you think that you might crash if you fly a plane. Then you've created more fear and the process goes on until you have not overcome your fear. 


This is also the same if your planning to be an Engineer yet you don't want to make a lot  of solving. Or be a chef but you don't want to cook. Or be an entrepreneur but don't want to face a client. Sounds stupid isn't it?

This is one of the greatest fallacy of existence. And when people take courage to journey into the center of their fear, they only find one thought - NOTHING! It's only many layer's of untrue fears and the process of being afraid of itself.  


Ladies and gentlemen, I know tell you that "Fear is in the mind". Everything is in the mind. You just have to fix the way you think. (Later on my next posts, I'll tell you how the process of thinking works).

This truth is either comic or tragic. When people would experience this, they are often seen either crying or laughing. I hope you too have come to a point wherein you've proven to yourself that "there's nothing to be afraid of"or if you haven't, then make it a try and face the fears overcoming you towards your dreams.

In anytime, we permit illusory fears, including those untested fears, to keep us from moving toward our dreams. For most of us, the insanity of fear only produces discomfort and inaction.

And more fear.

The Career Path

Now ask yourself: Is it my heart's desire to have a Guinness of "The Longest Man Who Can't be Moved in His Chair while Chatting His Friends in Facebook" or whatever your comfort zone is.

Sounds exaggerated isn't it? Define your comfort zone now and ask yourself if it will help you obtain you dreams.

Now you have the basic insight of what does "Comfort Zone" really means. This time, I'm going to give you a real situation in my life wherein I've applied this knowledge in one of the biggest decisions I ever took - the career path to follow.

During my high school days, I was so naive of almost everything. I did not think anything on my future. In short, I have no plans at all on what career to pursue.

I really excel most in linguistics, social studies, and the likes. When there are related activities at school, my classmates and teachers always choose me to participate such.

I'm always engaged in literature, speeches, news casting, etc. and etc. So it began my comfort zone to this sphere. I even answered my yearbook question "What is your goal in life?" with "To be an anchor man". Uh, my comfort zone pushed me to the path where I am comfortable with. However, it was never my heart's desire to be on Television. In turn, my other subjects were set out behind. 

One of the biggest facts you can ask my high school friends about me is that the subject that I'm definitely weak at is MATHEMATICS!

And now, who would have thought I graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Industrial Engineering?

Yes, its Engineering. You name it! Full of solving problems  and  analyses. An almost total opposite to where I excel. 

So why did i chose the this career path given that I'm fragile on it? Simple. I love solving math.

Huh? Confused?

Yes! I love solving math! Again, I love solving math! And again, I love solving math!

Convinced?

Oh well, this is how it goes. 

My other classmates really excel in this field. And oh boy, I couldn't do much of that. 

There started my desire to love math. I told my self: "I can also do that. Someday, I'll know how to"

I first enrolled to Information Technology because of peer pressure. Later, I shifted and graduated with the desires of my heart secured.

Okay, so much for that. Let's get with our neurons and analyze what I just did.

See the picture below:

Comfort Zone 1

Seen on the first picture is my comfort zone way back high school. After college my new comfort zone is seen on the second picture below. 


See the difference? 


In high school, I'm much like a geek that's drenched in the alike fields. After coaching myself to pursue my heart desires, I gained a new comfort zone and a much better person.


I hope you get the point. Now, believe me, you too can do things you never thought you can

Comfort Zone 2

So, what am I saying?


1. You have to do things you don't want to do to achieve your dreams.


2. The bigger your comfort zone is, the more effective you are in dealing with your life.


3. Conversely, the smaller your comfort zone is, the greater chance you face fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and or anger.


So, what am I not saying?


1. Most importantly, If you hate or weak at math (or anything else) don't follow what I did if you have no dreams related to it - that is, to be an Engineer, Physicist, Mathematician, etc. It is not necessary for you to learn everything you don't know. The important thing is that you have to learn the things you need to achieve your dreams. For example, if you want to be an entrepreneur, you have to learn how to do the basics  of marketing or selling. Or, if you want to be a writer, you have to, at least, know how to express your mind through words. 

2. If you've made a wrong decision back then, I'm not saying it's too late. Well, you can still pursue your dream by getting your self outside of your present comfort zone and start learning the things you need. And, remember that dreams are not restricted by your age - so do it now!. 


3. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just giving you a guide that you have the sole choice of pursuing your dreams. Some always blame others for not pursuing their heart desires. But I tell you, you control your life, thus, you can control your dreams.


























Honestly, I have not achieved my dreams yet.... but I'm getting there. I know I can.

THE COMFORT ZONE

The comfort zone is our personal area within which we feel comfortable - this includes our thoughts and actions. I'ts all of those things that we have done already and is enough to make us comfortable doing it again. Conversely, anything we have not done or though before lies outside of our comfort zone. For instance solving math problems, listening to hard music, petting with scorpions or snakes, writing speeches, selling things for a living, etc. and etc.

Or, even reading my blog is out of your comfort zone, right?

Let me test you through this challenge. Let us identify how are you comfortable with cracking and reading code. Here's a sentence I especially prepared in code:

 J bn tp sfnbslbcmf. J’wf kvtu dsbdlfe uif dpef.

If after 5 minutes you haven't cracked the code, you can now continue reading. Note: Don't proceed if you have not tried the puzzle. You can do it!

Now, how do you feel? Uncomfortable? Have you given your best to know what's the meaning of the code? Or did u just give up even before you stare at it? What if I'm going to give you whole of my bank savings on solving the puzzle? In addition, what if you had to solve it in front of your class or your boss? And, what if you only have 2 minutes to solve the puzzle? What if something bad was to happen to someone you love, say, your parents if you couldn't crack the code in the given time? They're counting on you!!

Now, how do you feel? If I am not mistaken, you probably felt some uncomfortable feelings when you were reading like fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and or anger.

(<---See? Look at this man)

We tend to feel discouraged after feeling uncomfortable enough long enough; we give up and lose our heart's desires - and if that happens, it's the end of your dreams!


However, other people who love puzzles make it through (and I am hopeful you're one of those). They did not even feel uncomfortable at all. The truth is, they were challenged. Eventually they stay and succeeded in cracking the code (and are now wondering how they can collect my bank savings! Haha).


For those who did not get it, why don't you try again? This time I'm gonna give you a clue: Each of the letters in the code stands for another letter in the alphabet. They are so arranged in a very logical way so that when you solve one of the words in the code, you'll be able to decipher the whole sentence.


And because I'm very generous (except with my savings), here's another clue : The first letter is an I. Now compare the relationship between I and the first letter of the puzzle (J). If you have seen a pattern, try it on the subsequent letters and see id you have found what does it say. If not, then look for another pattern until you'll find the meaning of the code. 


Don't give up, okay? C'mon, try it out! Don't proceed if you haven't tried it yet! Remember: You can cheat on me but you can never cheat on yourself! You can do it this time!

Perhaps now, you are in the process of figuring it out.

(<--- Check how the process affected this lady here)

Some of you might still be barking, "I can't do this". I remembered the famous Henry Ford once said, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right". Always remember that what you think is what you create.

So now if you still think that you can't do it, switch it around dude and tell yourself out loud I CAN DO THIS! Just invest an ample time in this process. "If there's a will, there's a way" (Pag gusto, may paraan). Now give yourself the will to do this!


Try solving it again with this another clue: The next letter is an A. This is now pretty obvious to solve. Look at their relation to each other: I&J and A&B. I'm very hopeful you can now get it. =)


There you go. Does that make you feel better? Still, to those who haven't figured it out don't like to think they're behind most people, and those who have figured it out don't like to be thought of as a mediocre.

Most of you might have solved it out by now.

(<---Well, I hope you haven't lost your mind and done this with your PC's digestive system.)

So here is the final clue: The alphabet. For those of you who don't know what an alphabet is, well it looks like this:

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Now you can see the relationship between I &J and A & B? Apply that to the other letters of the puzzle and see what you can get. Try it out!

P.S. Can you shout it (the code) out loud for me? And, oh, you can post a comment but please don't include the answer, ok? Thanks for that! =)